


Within Me There Lay an Invincible Summer

by RoseByAnyOtherName (badxwolfxrising)



Series: The Journey's Beginning Verse [2]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Gen, Multi, Pregnancy, Reunions, Timepetalsprompts, kinda babyfic, promo it forward
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-01
Updated: 2015-10-01
Packaged: 2018-04-24 05:51:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4907803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/badxwolfxrising/pseuds/RoseByAnyOtherName
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rose knows that Donna's perfect man is out there, and she's determined to find him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Within Me There Lay an Invincible Summer

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lunaseemoony](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunaseemoony/gifts).



> This is my fic for timepetalsprompts Promo It Forward event. Yes, it's the 30th of September. I am officially the worst. I can't find the original prompt from lunaseemoony, but it was along the lines of the Doctor, Donna, and Rose on an adventure. I figured this was a perfect opportunity to do a sequel to Just As It Should Be.
> 
> Title is from a quote by Albert Camus, "In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer."

“Penny for your thoughts?”

Startled, Donna looked up to see Rose peering back at her, a concerned expression on her face. “Hmm, what?”

“Nothing, it’s just you looked like you were a million miles away there for a moment, I was just wondering what you were thinking about,” Rose replied.

“Ah, it’s nothing,” Donna said, flapping a hand dismissively. “It’s stupid.”

“Try me,” Rose said, apparently not ready to drop the subject.

Donna hesitated before she finally began speaking again. “Did the Doctor ever tell you about the time we went to the biggest library in the universe?”

Rose nodded. “He’s mentioned it before, in passing. River Song, the Vashta Nerada, all those people stuck in the digital world. He didn’t really go into explicit detail, though. Why?”

“Well,” Donna said, suddenly acutely interested in the hem of her blouse, which she was pulling loose threads from. “I got stuck in that digital world, too. The Doctor tried to teleport me back to the TARDIS to keep me safe, but it went wrong, and I ended up stuck in the digital world. I didn’t know it of course, not at the time. It all seemed so real to me.”

“So what happened? In the digital world?” Rose prodded.

“I met a man. A sweet, funny, kind man who really understood me, and loved me for who I was. His name was Lee. Lee McAvoy. He was so handsome-tall, dark brown hair, green eyes, great smile. He would stutter when he was nervous, which only made him more endearing. He was my perfect man. Gorgeous, adored me, and hardly ever spoke a word. We got married, in that digital world. Had twins, a boy and a girl named Ella and Joshua. I was so happy, finally having a family of my own. But none of them were real. Not Ella and Joshua, and not Lee. Turns out the digital world was just something CAL had dreamed up to keep everyone safe from the shadows,” Donna said, her anguish plain and evident in the abnormally soft tone of her voice.

“CAL? CAL was the computer, the child who became the computer, right?” Rose attempted to clarify.

Donna nodded mutely.

“So how do you know Lee and the kids weren’t real, weren’t other people who got stuck in the same digital world?” Rose asked curiously.

“The children weren’t real. Every child in the world there was the same. The same two children, the same boy and girl, repeated over and over again. The same pattern, to help save hard drive space. I didn’t see it, until suddenly, I did. And after I knew the truth, the children vanished. They were an illusion sustained only by my belief that they were real,” she sighed bitterly.

“And Lee?”

“I checked, and there was no one even named Lee in the library that day. Suppose he could’ve gone by a different name, but it seems more likely that I just dreamed up the perfect man. I asked the Doctor what that said about me, and he said everything. Tried to say he meant nothing, but I know what he meant. He’s always been kind like that, trying to spare my feelings. But sometimes he just says the first thing that pops into his head, without even thinking about it, and I knew he wasn’t wrong. Lee couldn’t possibly exist, not really. Not with my luck with men. Just wishful thinking on my part.”

“I think you’re being a bit hard on yourself,” Rose said gently, putting her arm around the other woman’s shoulder. “What made you think of all that anyway?”

“Watching Tony play,” Donna replied, gesturing to the sandbox where Tony Tyler and his father were currently building something that vaguely resembled a sand castle. “Don’t get me wrong...I’m glad you and the Doctor found each other. He was a miserable bastard sometimes, pining over you. I’m truly happy for you guys. It’s just...sometimes I feel like a third wheel. The old maid with no family of her own. Seeing what you guys have...it just makes me wistful for that life where I had a husband who loved me, and two beautiful children. I’m not getting any younger, and this life doesn’t exactly lend itself to making and forming new relationships.”

“You’re not a third wheel,” Rose said firmly. “We want you here with us, wouldn’t dream of having it any other way. You’re the Doctor’s best mate, and the closest thing Tony has to a godmother. We all love you, Donna,” Rose said earnestly.

“Well that’s easy for you to say. You’ve got your family, and you didn’t have to give up traveling with the Doctor to get it,” Donna said tartly.

“I had to leave my parents behind to get this family, though,” Rose pointed out.

“Yeah, I know that, course I do. It’s just hard sometimes, Rose, to see how happy you guys are, and remember how the happiest I ever was was in a virtual reality world with a husband and children who never really existed. I don’t want to seem ungrateful-you know I wouldn’t give up traveling for the world. I guess I just wish I could have my cake and eat it, too. Have a family of my own, but still travel with you and the Doctor and Tony,” Donna confessed.

“You never know. Stranger things have happened. Your perfect man is out there somewhere, Donna, and who knows? He could be on the next planet we land on,” Rose said, smiling at her encouragingly.

“Suppose,” Donna muttered.

“Oh, come on. In a universe where you and I both managed to find the Doctor again, you don’t think it’s possible that your dream guy, whoever he happens to be, might be out there somewhere looking for you, too?” Rose asked teasingly, her tongue poking between her teeth.

“I guess you have a point,” Donna offered with a wan smile.

“Just you wait, Donna Noble. He’s out there, somewhere, and I bet you we will find him.”

* * * * *

“I want to find Donna’s husband,” Rose said later that night as her and the Doctor were in bed.

The Doctor laid the book he was reading facedown on his lap and peered at her over the top of his glasses. “Donna’s never actually been married. Lance was...well, you know.”

“No, not Lance,” Rose said impatiently. “Lee. Lee McAvoy, her husband from the Library.”

“He wasn’t real,” the Doctor said matter of factly. “Donna checked, and there was no one by that name in the Library that day.”

“Yeah, but how do you know, though? Maybe his name wasn’t actually Lee McAvoy, maybe it was something else,” Rose persisted.

The Doctor sighed, and took off his glasses. “Even if that were the case, how would we even find him? There were over 4000 people in the Library that day, from all over the galaxy, and I don’t have access to CAL’s database to even begin weeding people out. It’d be like looking for the proverbial needle in a haystack. And why are you bringing this up now?”

“Because Donna and I were talking today, and she just seems really down about not having a family of her own. You’re clever, can’t you think of something?” Rose said, running her hand up and down his bare arm. “Don’t you think Donna deserves it? A chance at having what we have, a chance at a family of her own?”

“Well of course she deserves it, but that doesn’t make what you’re asking of me any less difficult,” he groused.

“Difficult, but not impossible?” Rose pressed.

The Doctor spread his open palms across his cheeks and pulled at his face. ‘Not impossible, no. If I could get the TARDIS in orbit around the Library, I might be able to send a request to manually link CAL’s database with the TARDIS. I could download whatever information is available on the people who were in the library that day, pull up the library cards, see if they have pictures or not, and start narrowing it down from there.”

Rose was beaming. “See, I knew you would think of something.”

“It’s an idea, but I don’t want you to get your hopes up. There might not be pictures, and there might only be names with no other information,” the Doctor said in a cautioning tone. “And that’s if CAL even retained that information. It might’ve been purged to make room for all those consciences.”

“All right, well what are you waiting for?” Rose said.

The Doctor blinked. “You want me get started on this right now?”

“Well, yeah. Just think, by this time tomorrow, we might have found him, and wouldn’t that be the best surprise for Donna?” Rose exclaimed excitedly.

“Donna hates surprises,” he pointed out.

“Not this kind of surprise, she won’t.”

The Doctor shook his head, and chuckled lightly. “Ever the optimist, you are. All right, I’ll plot a course to the Library. You and Tony will just have to distract her while I try to work this out.”

Rose grinned. “I think we can manage that.”

* * * * *

“Wotcha doin’, Spaceman?” Donna asked, strolling into the console room.

Guiltily, the Doctor turned the screen he was reading off of the opposite direction. “Nothing.”

Donna raised her eyebrows. “Nothing? Doesn’t look like nothing.”

“It’s nothing, really,” he mumbled, straightening his tie. “I thought you were with Rose and Tony?”

“I was, but they fell asleep on the settee watching PeeWee’s Playhouse, so I decided to come see what you were up to,” Donna replied, crossing her arms over her chest. “So spill, Time Boy, what are you being so secretive about?”

“If I told you, it wouldn’t be a secret, now would it?” he answered innocently. “And anyway, no secrets here. Just us chickens.”

Donna narrowed her eyes at him. “You’re being squirrely, even for you.”

“Squirrely? In what way do I resemble a small, nut-hoarding rodent?” he asked, affronted.

“Do you really want me to answer that?” she replied with a smirk.

“Perhaps not,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. “Anyway, I’m just trying to look up an old acquaintance of mine, see if he’s still kicking around the universe. It’s proving rather difficult, though, as he didn’t go by his real name. That’s all.”

Donna nodded, apparently mollified by his explanation. “You want some tea while you’re working? I think there’s still some banana nut bread leftover, too.”

The Doctor’s features relaxed as he smiled at her. “Yes, thank you, that’d be lovely.”

“Kay, I’ll be back in a mo,” she said, turning to leave the console room.

The Doctor waited until the sound of Donna’s footsteps had faded before he turned back to the screen he’d been looking at when she’d interrupted him. He’d successfully linked up with CAL the evening previous and had downloaded all the available records. Now he was just trying (and struggling) to wade through them all. Out of 4022 people in the library that day, only 1237 of them had been men, which made his job a little bit easier, but not by much. Donna hadn’t been mistaken-there was no one with the last name McAvoy in the library that day, and no one with the first name Lee, either. He was currently running a program to cross check the names against lists of known aliases and pseudonyms, but so far it hadn’t kicked anything back.

Frustrated, he pulled his hands through his hair, making it stick up haphazardly. “This shouldn’t be so bloody difficult! Not for a genius like me.”

The TARDIS hummed, something that might’ve been dissent, or a chuckle.

The Doctor pursed his lips. “I get enough sass from everyone else on board this ship, I don’t need it from you, too.”

Just then, the computer pinged, indicating the program had found a new search result. The Doctor pulled his glasses out of his pocket, set them on the bridge of his nose, and peered down at the screen, reading the information that had popped up.

“Gotcha,” he muttered to no one in particular. He jotted himself a note in Gallifreyan, and exited out of the program before Donna could return with their tea.

* * * * *

“Doctor, we’ve been walking for ages. Where are we even going?” Donna asked crabbily.

The Doctor, who was leading the group with Tony perched on his shoulders, turned back to look at her. “Do we have to be going somewhere? It’s a beautiful day, perfect time for a walk.”

“Yes, well, we have been at it for a while now,” Rose said, shooting him a meaningful look. “Odd that we haven’t encountered anyone else, don’t you think?”

“I’m hungry,” Tony supplied helpfully.

“Right, well, I think I see a house just over that hill. Let’s see if anyone is home, shall we?” the Doctor asked, peeling a mini banana he had produced from his pocket. He handed the tiny fruit to the child balanced on his shoulders.

Donna rolled her eyes. “Yeah, because just walking up on a random stranger’s house has gone so well for us in the past.”

“It’s not a stranger’s house,” he replied, continuing onwards. “It belongs to a painter.”

“So we _are_ going somewhere,” Donna replied. “Why didn’t we just take the TARDIS?”

“Erm, well, I may have gotten the coordinates a bit wrong. I didn’t think we’d have to walk this far,” the Doctor admitted.

“You know Martha told me he said he failed the test to fly the TARDIS?” Donna said, whispering behind her hand conspiratorily to Rose.

“Really?” Rose replied, her tongue poking between her teeth. “That is utterly shocking.”

“Innit, though?” Donna replied, grinning.

“I can’t wait until you’re old enough to take my side once in a while,” the Doctor muttered to Tony, who just giggled and kicked his feet lightly against his father’s chest.

The four of them finally crested the hill. In the distance, on the edge of a cliff overlooking the beach, sat a small cottage with a sagging roof and shabby blue shutters. An old red bicycle was propped against the wall underneath an open window, through which the faintest strains of old jazz music could be heard.

“It looks like something out of a painting,” Rose remarked. “Very fitting.”

“So who lives here, anyway?” Donna asked, walking up alongside the Doctor and Tony.

“Why don’t we find out?” the Doctor asked, waggling his eyebrows at her.

“You are hopeless,” Donna said with no malice in her voice.

“Not as long as I have all of you, I’m not,” he replied lightly.

“Touché, Time Boy.”

When they finally reached the front door of the cottage, the Doctor hesitated before raising his fist to knock three times in rapid succession. They were close enough now that the music was less faint and more distinct-John Coltrane’s version of “The Night Has A Thousand Eyes”. The music dimmed, and the Doctor knocked again.

“Coming!” a voice shouted from within the house. “Just a minute!”

Donna’s eyebrows knit together in confusion, and she turned to look at the Doctor. “Hold on, I know that voice. Why do I know that voice?”

The Doctor held his hands out with his palms facing upwards, the universal gesture for “I don’t know.”

From inside the cottage, they heard the heavy shuffling sound of footsteps walking towards them. A lock turned, and the faded blue front door swung open wide to reveal a tall, dark haired man wearing paint smudged dungarees and a threadbare jumper standing on the other side.

“D-D-D-Donna?” he stammered in disbelief.

“Oh my God, it’s you,” Donna choked out, covering her mouth with her hand. With her other hand, she reached out and stroked her fingers across the light stubble on his face. “You’re real.”

“Last t-t-time I checked,” he replied, covering her hand with his own and holding it spread against his cheek.

For once, even Donna was rendered speechless.

After a moment of standing there staring at each other, Lee dropped his hand and tugged Donna against him, wrapping his arms tightly around her as though he were afraid she might disappear if he let her go. She tilted her head up to look at him and he inclined his head downwards until their lips met, eager and needy.

“Ah,” the Doctor said, reaching out for Rose’s hand with a satisfied sigh. “I do love a good happy ending.”

* * * * *

After Lee and Donna had finally broken free of each other, the painter invited all of them into the tiny cottage. The interior was airy and well lit, despite being cramped-fresh air and sunlight filtered through the open windows, illuminating the paintings that were hung or propped against every available surface. The style varied wildly from one piece to the next, all of which were recreations of famous and well-known artworks. They all had one thing in common, though, and that was the familiar fiery haired and curvaceous woman that appeared in all of them. Donna as Vermeer’s _Girl with a Pearl Earring_ , Botticelli’s _Venus_ , Da Vinci’s Mona Lisa. Donna sitting at Van Gogh’s cafe, standing on Monet’s white bridge, walking through the surf on Bastida’s beach. Dozens and dozens of paintings, and Donna in every single one of them.

Lee caught the look on Donna’s face and cleared his throat. “I never f-f-f-forgot about you.”

“I can see that,” she said softly, still taking in all the different paintings.

“Anyone for t-t-tea?” Lee offered uncomfortably. “I t-t-think I might even have some j-j-juice for the little one.”

“That’d be great, thanks,” Rose finally answered, as Donna and the Doctor were both still absorbed in examining the artwork scattered through the cottage. Tony had since gotten down from his father’s shoulders and was standing with his mother, looking solemnly around the room.

“Did you know the whole time this was where we were coming?” Donna asked.

“Yeah, pretty much,” the Doctor answered.

“You know I hate surprises,” she said, punching his arm.

“Ow!” the Doctor said, rubbing the spot where she had hit him. “I figured this was one you wouldn’t mind.”

She smiled at him. “If you’d told me where we were going, I would’ve dressed for the occasion. Suppose I’ll let it slide...this time.”

The Doctor’s face split into a grin. “I thought you might.”

Lee reappeared in the archway between the kitchen and the sitting room, holding a tray with a mismatched set of mugs and a weathered old tea pot. Clearing his throat, he shoved aside a set of watercolor paints on a table and set the tray down. “S-s-sorry, I don’t have a lot of g-guests.”

“Oh, it’s fine. Brilliant art, by the way,” the Doctor said, taking a seat in an oversized armchair. Rose squeezed into the space next to him and sat with Tony balanced on her knee.

Lee and Donna exchanged an uneasy glance before settling down on opposite sides of the settee.

“I looked for you, you know,” Donna said. “They said there was no one with the last name McAvoy in the Library, no one with the first name Lee.”

Lee stirred sugar into his cup of tea. “Name’s not really Lee. Lee is a pseud-pseud- pseudonym.”

Donna raised her eyebrows at this admission. “So what is your name then?”

Lee took a deep breath and steadied himself. “Andrew Warhol,” he said very slowly.

“Wait, seriously?” Rose interjected. “Another painter named Andy Warhol?”

Lee shook his head. “That’s why I ch-changed my name. Lee was my father’s middle name, McAvoy was my m-m-mother’s maiden name. I haven’t gone by Andrew since I was a y-y-young man.”

“You never said,” Donna replied.

“You never asked,” he answered, shrugging. “I don’t know. D-d-didn’t seem important in that world.”

“You didn’t think it was important to tell me your real name?” she pressed.

He gave her an imploring look. “That world wasn’t real. And you still found m-m-me.”

“Yeah, after more than two years of thinking I had imagined the whole thing!”

“Donna,” the Doctor interjected gently. “The important part is that you found each other, isn’t it?”

“Suppose,” she said, settling back against the settee. “It’s just...I tortured myself over that, y’know? If I had known your real name...so much suffering could’ve been avoided.”

“I’m sorry,” Lee said without stumbling.

“How long has it been for you?” she asked.

“T-t-too long,” he answered. “About five years.”

Donna inhaled sharply, and looked at the Doctor. “We couldn’t have gotten here sooner?”

“Yeah, speaking of...h-h-how did you guys g-get here? How did you find me?” Lee asked.

“It was Rose’s idea, to try and look for him, for you,” the Doctor answered. “I found what records I could from the Library and cross-referenced it with a database of known pseudonyms and aliases. Lee McAvoy is a relatively uncommon name, so when the database kicked back only one result, I figured I had the right one. A little extra research confirmed that yes, you were in fact one of the people who had been in the Library the day the shadows swarmed. Then it was just a matter of plugging the right coordinates into the TARDIS.”

“We landed over two miles away, five years later,” Donna said flatly.

“Yeah….the time rotor might need recalibrating,” the Doctor said sheepishly.

“Sorry, I’m still not f-f-following you. How did you get here?” Lee asked again.

“The TARDIS,” Rose, Donna, and the Doctor answered in unison.

“The what?” Lee replied.

“The TARDIS. Time and Relative Dimensions in Space. It’s my time machine,” the Doctor answered.

“But time travel’s n-n-not possible,” Lee stuttered.

The Doctor raised his eyebrows and smiled politely, but said nothing.

Donna cleared her throat. “It is real, y’know. Been traveling with the Doctor for ages now, inside the TARDIS. That was how we came to the Library in the first place. You could come see it. The Doctor’s time machine. You could come with us. Couldn’t he, Doctor?”

“I think there’s room for at least one more,” the Doctor said wryly.

“So do you want to? Come with us?” Donna asked Lee.

“I would follow you anywhere, Donna C-C-Constance Noble,” he answered nervously.

“Constance?” the Doctor repeated.

“What’s wrong with Constance?” Donna said defensively.  
“Sorry, but where are we g-g-going?” Lee interrupted.

Donna smiled broadly at him. “All of time and space; everywhere and anywhere; every star that ever was. Where do you want to start?”

* * * * *

_A year later…_

Rose and Donna were sitting next to each other on a park bench, watching Tony play with the other children on the monkey bars.

“Smile, Tony!” Rose called out, holding up her camera. The little boy turned and waved, hanging one-handed from one of the metal rungs.

“Don’t know how you can watch him do that, it makes me nervous just looking,” Donna commented.

“He’s the Doctor’s son. I’m not worried about it,” Rose replied, snapping several pictures. “Half Time Lord, half spider monkey.”

“Speak of the devil,” Donna said, tilting her head to the left. The Doctor and Lee were coming down the path, each holding several ice cream cones. The Doctor smiled and waved when he caught the two women looking. Tony jumped off the monkey bars and intercepted his father on his way to the bench to get his own ice cream before making a beeline for the tire swing.

“Two scoops each for the lovely ladies eating for two,” the Doctor said, plunking down between the two women with an ice cream cone in each hand. Lee squeezed himself onto the end of the bench, next to Donna.

“Why does mine look like someone ate half of it?” Rose asked, accepting the ice cream cone from the Doctor.

“Well uh...I ate mine before we got here and I got hungry on the way back,” he answered, shamefaced. This response was met with eye rolling from both women.

“You owe me,” Rose said, elbowing him gently in the ribs. “I’m gestating a half Time Lord baby here, I need the extra calcium.”

“I’ll get you another,” the Doctor said resignedly, getting up from the bench.

“Maybe make it a triple scoop this time. Just in case you get hungry,” Rose said dryly.

“See, that’s why I love you,” Donna said, turning to Lee. “You know better than to eat your pregnant wife’s ice cream.”

“I don’t think it’s that he doesn’t know better,” he replied, draping his arm around Donna’s waist. “I think he just believes he’s clever and charming enough to get away with it.”

“Funny, Lee’s known him the shortest time out of all of us and he’s still got our Time Boy pegged,” Donna laughed.

The three of them were still chuckling over that when the Doctor returned a few minutes later carrying two more ice cream cones.

‘What’s so funny?” he asked, wedging himself in between Rose and Donna. “What are you all laughing at?”

“Nothing,” Rose giggled, accepting her second ice cream cone.

“Yeah,” Donna said. “Don’t mind us, just a couple of mad women with pregnancy brain.”

“Uh, Lee doesn’t have pregnancy brain,” the Doctor pointed out.

“Sympathetic pregnancy brain,” Lee said completely deadpan, causing both women to burst into another fit of giggles.

The Doctor gave up on getting a real answer out of them, instead refocusing his attention on what was now his fifth or sixth scoop of vanilla chocolate cherry.

“Oh, I love you guys,” Donna finally said when she’d regained her composure.

“Yeah, you’re alright too, I guess,” the Doctor said, ducking when Donna threw her wadded up serviette at him.

“No stop, I’m being serious,” she said. “I don’t know what I’d do without you all. I have literally everything I’ve ever wished for, and it’s because of you guys. I never could’ve imagined I’d ever be this happy.”

“Donna, you deserve it,” Rose said sincerely.

“You definitely do,” the Doctor said, laying a hand fondly on her shoulder. “You have no idea how pleased I am for the two of you, and how glad I am that my son and daughter will grow up with my best mate’s children. Not many people have that privilege.”

“No, certainly not. We’re lucky...all of us,” Lee said soberly. “Many people lose the loves of their lives, not many of them are able to find them again.”

“Here, here,” the Doctor agreed, raising his half-eaten ice cream cone.

“Have you two thought of any names yet?” Rose asked conversationally.

“Yeah,” Donna said with a faint smile. “We’re going to name her Charlotte. Charlotte Ella Noble-McAvoy.”


End file.
